Stages of Depression
In 2018, amid the three-year mark of overcoming opioid addiction and two years post-therapy, "Stages of Depression" emerged as a reflection of my LGBTQ journey. Leaving church after attending for 42 years, marked a phase of healing from spiritual abuse , with my battle against depression taking a prominent role. Fueled by a mix of emotions and thoughts, I embarked on a visual exploration to depict the intricate stages of grief and the deep impact of depression on my psyche. I immersed myself in a range of emotions and reflections one evening, aiming to articulate the contours of my grief, frustrations, and the profound manifestations of my inner struggles with depression.
***************
My life has been full of trauma since my conception.
Throughout my years of life I have tried more medications then I can remember.
Addiction part of my DNA.
Ancestral trauma due to colonization.
For 5 years now I have been working to remove parts of me that no longer serve me.
It is a daily practice.
Sometimes it sneaks up. The overthinking and scenario building.
The way to cope with possible outcomes even if they don't exist.
Here I wanted to show my vulnerability I felt at the time.
Taken back in 2019 I gave myself the permission to feel the frustration and pain inside that I carried for way too long.
Shame. Fear. Exhaustion. Confusion. Anger.
I am a work in progress.
-Z
In 2018, amid the three-year mark of overcoming opioid addiction and two years post-therapy, "Stages of Depression" emerged as a reflection of my LGBTQ journey. Leaving church after attending for 42 years, marked a phase of healing from spiritual abuse , with my battle against depression taking a prominent role. Fueled by a mix of emotions and thoughts, I embarked on a visual exploration to depict the intricate stages of grief and the deep impact of depression on my psyche. I immersed myself in a range of emotions and reflections one evening, aiming to articulate the contours of my grief, frustrations, and the profound manifestations of my inner struggles with depression.
***************
My life has been full of trauma since my conception.
Throughout my years of life I have tried more medications then I can remember.
Addiction part of my DNA.
Ancestral trauma due to colonization.
For 5 years now I have been working to remove parts of me that no longer serve me.
It is a daily practice.
Sometimes it sneaks up. The overthinking and scenario building.
The way to cope with possible outcomes even if they don't exist.
Here I wanted to show my vulnerability I felt at the time.
Taken back in 2019 I gave myself the permission to feel the frustration and pain inside that I carried for way too long.
Shame. Fear. Exhaustion. Confusion. Anger.
I am a work in progress.
-Z
In 2018, amid the three-year mark of overcoming opioid addiction and two years post-therapy, "Stages of Depression" emerged as a reflection of my LGBTQ journey. Leaving church after attending for 42 years, marked a phase of healing from spiritual abuse , with my battle against depression taking a prominent role. Fueled by a mix of emotions and thoughts, I embarked on a visual exploration to depict the intricate stages of grief and the deep impact of depression on my psyche. I immersed myself in a range of emotions and reflections one evening, aiming to articulate the contours of my grief, frustrations, and the profound manifestations of my inner struggles with depression.
***************
My life has been full of trauma since my conception.
Throughout my years of life I have tried more medications then I can remember.
Addiction part of my DNA.
Ancestral trauma due to colonization.
For 5 years now I have been working to remove parts of me that no longer serve me.
It is a daily practice.
Sometimes it sneaks up. The overthinking and scenario building.
The way to cope with possible outcomes even if they don't exist.
Here I wanted to show my vulnerability I felt at the time.
Taken back in 2019 I gave myself the permission to feel the frustration and pain inside that I carried for way too long.
Shame. Fear. Exhaustion. Confusion. Anger.
I am a work in progress.
-Z